They are bullying. NTA. They are crimes. NTA. Uninviting them to the wedding is the least thing, they're just going to retaliate for their whole lives. . These arent pranks. NTA. Also wtf will they put any potential Male children you might have through as well, under the pretence of helping then man up? Sorry, this post was deleted by the person who originally posted it. At what point during his asthma attack would they be able to tell if he was being soft or if it was real? Panicking when you can't breathe is a normal reaction. NTA, and kindly remind your dad, brother, uncle and cousin that they got themselves uninvited. If your cousin does want to talk, then I'd set out some serious ground rules first, but let him talk, after all if he is genuinely sorry and willing to admit he was a dick as well as apologise to your fiance then, he deserves a second chance. Slashing his tyres? NTA. OP found somebody committed to her. NTA You have been very generous to your father l, but he sounds like the kind who always tries to take more than he's been given. Would they be saying that to Tim's family if he had died of a fatal asthma attack because he didn't have access to his inhaler? Yes. isn't it also, depending on how bad his asthma is, some form of ableism? NTA. This doesn't mean men aren't ignored & gaslit by doctors because they are. Hiding an asthmatic's inhaler is cruel. Are you at peace with the no contact and okay with never seeing your dad again? I told him no because I need to go to work. That's when I stopped searching. Can't people with asthma die from an asthma attack? Do not invite them back! This has got to be in the rural midwestfucking stupid redneck or white trash shit. I am a woman who grew up in a very masculine family. Mom is saying I'm exaggerating and should let bygones be bygones and not let this ruin my relationship with my family. How do you fix slashed tires? And stick up for your fianc. NTA My uncle did that sprayer thing, only it was with his hands any time I walked within spraying range while he was using the sink. This is childish. I was sitting down looking at daddy-daughter dance songs when I got the urge to just text and confirm he will be able to make it to my wedding. Those family members suck. im sure OP has tried to shut it down before. Seriously what would have happened if he needed his inhaler desperately and he couldn't get at it? Hey also OP. Have your fianc sit down with the four of them (with you present) and tell them to their faces they are not invited. I actually gasped when I read that. Throw away your family for Tim's sake. Not only uninvite them, you should cut contact completely. But I keep refusing to re invite them. if OP's fiance was my friend or family member, i would tell him to end this relationship asap before anything worse happens and no person is worth this hassle. Before they say their next word have him explain this is what true strength is. Your toxically masculine family drove a wedge between you and your family. Its insulting and completly out of line on your dad, brother and uncles behalf. My cousin is begging that we talk, my uncle has been quiet, but dad is so mad and now he's getting mom involved to get me to reconsider this decision. Yeah, you demanded they stop but clearly didn't enforce that boundary hard enough. This is insecure assholes being assholes because they feel intimidated by OP marrying a guy that is likely more successful. fast forward to yesterday, she messages me telling me to sell the tickets because she got better seats. Gotta love it how a husband will make it your fault for bugging him to simply fucking TAKE CARE OF HIMSELF. How was that not it for you? My relationship with my stepdad has been problematic from the very beginning. AITA for uninviting my cousin, brother, uncle and dad to my wedding over a prank? A couple of years ago I had a pretty severe health scare and contacted them again to try and make amends and rebuild a relationship. Tires aren't free. Luckily, you can and should choose your family. Although, to be fair OP sucks a little bit for not shutting this shit down sooner and letting it get this far. See how man enough they are for the legal system. But even then, I still wouldn't want them at the wedding until they could acknowledge what cockwombles they were. I'm 33 M and I recently went back to college for a BFA. Your family sucks, and Im sorry. And these pranks and challenges are NOT typical men stuff. The wedding is just the first step, OP. Bringing you the freshest and best posts from r/AmItheAsshole Timestamps:0:00 - AITA for causing my sister to no longer have her college paid for?2:14 - AITA. These arent pranks. The funniest is snipping valve stems. My family thinks I am the asshole because of how harshly I spoke to him, that i chose stepdad over him and that I broke his heart. They have absolutely no right to keep that information from their patients, but it happens. Welcome to the end times. Because it sure as hell isn't Earth. They've shown they aren't capable, loving, supportive people. They literally slashed his tires? I myself have an in law I do not like but noone would ever know it because I respect and love my brother. NTA. "Let bygones be bygones" because you'll essentially be telling your fiance that your asshat family members fucked up view of entertainment is more important than him. Let mom know your full feeling and the risks they took. So, NTA, and you're totally right in cutting them off. They could have killed him. to be honest, if I were your fianc Id reconsider marrying you if you didnt put your foot down here. What about Tim feels any respect for him? Seriously. OP How do you not see that these people are psychopaths?! Welcome to /r/AmITheAsshole. As this is NOT normal male behavior. NTA he's mad you are learning what healthy relationships look like and creating boundaries. I f25 along with my two brothers Dean & Kevin (both 30s) went through rough time during our parents divorce, mom got married to my stepdad and we lived with him for years. Far from it. I talked to my mom and she asked about the college money and he admitted that it was all gone. Who works with you to resolve problems? Wouldnt it increase their respect for both of them as a couple if that despicable quartet come out of this wedding with the ULTIMATE wedding favour, aka mug shots and restraining orders? They will seek out and tell a woman and will hope that woman will intercede on their behalf with a male boss/authority figure/doctor, but they will avoid going to the male authority figure themselves even when death is on the line. Im on the road at 3:30am in NYC so mass transit isnt safe at that time. I dont envy her position, but her fianc deserves far better than this. He should just man up and breathe good like the rest of them. Hiding his inhaler on a days camping trip? I can see it nowwife make my grandson a pb and j sandwich (cause we know he wouldn't make it himself) cause he needs to just get over this or its for attention when his airway closes..NTA. Not going to assume too much for OP's case, but in my case, the unwillingness to acknowledge the abuse just caused my siblings to peg me as ungrateful. Even if it did though, so what? Clear vandalism and harassment, and Im pretty sure some kind of theft charge could be leveled against them on the inhaler. So according to your family, I (a woman) am a man cause I can fix tires, cause obviously that's a manly man thing and not just a question of interests and acquired skills? Fucking abuse. This is damn near attempted murder. Its not just bullying anymore! slashing tires is not a prank, it's a crime, hiding someone's medical device/medication (especially if prescribed) is also a crime, not a prank, Pranks mean no one gets hurt, this isnt pranking this is straight up bullying. Child abuse waiting to happen. OP's tolerance of her family's antics until the inhaler "challenge" puts her damn near in enabler territory. That was over ten years ago and we all still laugh about it. They sound like the type of people that would try to sneak some peanuts into the food of someone who is deathly allergic to them and cry its just a prank, bro. Why didnt OP put a stop to this years ago and go NC with these idiots? You know. He said that he didn't reply but later I got a call from my mom yelling at me calling me hurtful stuff saying I was acting like an ungrateful b by excluding her husband from the wedding after everything he's done for me, I told her that my brothers threatened not to come which pushed me to make this difficult dicision because if it was for me I'd have everyone there. My parents pride themselves on being do-it-yourself. Yeah, OP said she demanded they stop in response to the earlier incidents too. They kept calling him slow and soft but he has medical condition (asthma) but they think he's making 'excuses'. NTA. Cut them all out. NTA. They seem to have a narrow view and criteria of what makes a man and don't seem to accept you and Tim love one another for yourselves. Those are expensive, Id be suing them to get my money back. Especially with your dad, who will apologize but will lose respect for him. Stick with your opinion you are not exaggerating. If you dont draw a line in the sand their nasty toxic behaviour (so called pranks) will never end. Her family is toxic. Tell your dad that he shouldn't hide behind your mom if he is such a man. Its not like they had OPs permission or OPs husband is a toddler that cannot speak up for himself. NTA. What respect can you have for the family members pushing you to ignore this violent, aggressive and potentially harmful behavior? If you give in, now or ever, you will be the AH and you will get your fianc killed. Assholes are assholes who deserves to get cut out of your life. Pranks dont have the potential to cost people their lives. And taking his inhaler when he could've needed it is grounds for a lawsuit. Where are your priorities op?! Typical snowflakes if you ask me. Timmy didn't drive the wedge between you and your family. Right?! I have to give him props but at least he realized it was going too far. Elope! Of course youre NTA. They dont deserve to be at the wedding. They slashes his tires and you did what? This needs to be your hill to die on before your fiance really actually dies. If someone stole my inhaler and hid it as a prank I would be furious, it isnt funny to not be able to breathe properly. You are absolutely correct, there is a big difference between prancing and bullying, and OPs family is on the wrong side of that gap. Yeah, garage would make me think of parking too cause it's the same word in German, but it's sometimes just difficult to remember or think of the various names for services and shops as they either depend on US vs UK (or other places too) or are e.g. Imagine the boundaries theyll cross when you have children! Enjoy the rest of your life with your fianc. However, when Wife is changing the diapers Husband will often enter the room and insist she smile whilst doing so as it may affect the child emotional state. So it's safe to assume they would have stopped pranking after they "accidentally " killed him? NTA, your family is terrible. Pranks are harmless fun. I grew up in a house where my dad would pester us to the point of crying, then get mad that we were crying because "I'm just messing with you!!" They made their living off the land and were proud of that. Dad and his cronies are all abusive assholes. I f22 grew up in a family where men prank and tease each others. It might be beneficial for you to also post this in r/raisedbynarcissists and do some research (if you haven't already) on narcissistic parents. The fact that your dad said that he would apologize if he "had to" is disturbing. A prank is like a joke. Tell your husband he'll be more stressed if it turns out to be a serious condition. Someone might think you are serious instead of joking. Shrug and say that was your family? NTA, that's not typical "men stuff", your dad, uncle, brother and cousin are bullies. Was thinking the same. NTA. 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